Ok, I never thought I would blog about something like this but eh its almost 2010.
Yesterday I decided that the Austin Powers look was out for me….um, didn’t know how far out I was thiking!!! LOL
If you are following along and not getting what I mean I will explain it in 1980’s terms.
Chest hair on men seems to be a bit passé. I grow a mean crop of chest and belly hair so in my infinite wisdom I thought I would trim it a bit and see if less was more. Ummmm, well!! Lets just say I got a bit less than I wanted.
First I used the trimmer that is for my beard. One pass and it was clogged and frankly couldn’t even tell that I had trimmed anything…I think it takes like every 10th hair or something. Rob goes and gets out the big gun! The shears that his wife cuts his hair with. Hey I am a generally bright guy so I recognize that there are guards for each length of hair. I go with the shortest one. Fire up the weedwhacker 2009 and watch the dials on meter on the side of the house spin like they just got caught in a tornado. Lights flicker and then return to full brightness…. Rob starts at the waistline of gym shorts and takes one swipe straight up the belly and stops at pecks.... Looking at the tumbleweed that has formed at my feet I realize that the ole # 1 may have been a bit too short.
Not much I can do now but complete the sheering of this dark haired sheep that is standing before me in the mirror and then hope and pray that it will all grow back to a decent length over the next 60 days.
What the hell have I done to myself? What would have ever possessed me?? I did however find the great pumpkin that Charlie Brown has been waiting in the pumpkin patch for all of these years. It is below my chest and above my waistline but he isn’t orange…no he is a very stark white….run, run for your lives!!!!
The one positive in this miss adventure is the motivation that the over exposure of skin has caused. I started doing sit ups again last night…Holy cow only 74 more days till people will see me with no shirt on. If I don’t get the great pumpkin carved down a bit I may have to stay away from the beach as I don’t want to be mistaken for a beached marine mammal.
Tonight, second ab workout. I already know this will lead to sore muscles but I gotta do it just in case the camouflage for the great pumplin doesn’t grow back before we head to the islands…
So guys, if you are thinking about any kind of manscaping….pay a pro or look like your chest has mange..your choice but choose wisely!!!
Yes I am laughing at my foolish self here……
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